Daughter’s words were inspiration to American golf super woman

Daughter’s words were inspiration to American golf super woman

Doctors, psychologists and life coaches often talk glibly about striking a healthy work-play balance in your life. In reality, however, such a state can be almost impossible to achieve.

One person better placed than most to pass judgment on the subject is Suzy Whaley, who has spent the past three decades seeking to juggle a high-profile career in golf while bringing up two daughters.

Caption: Suzy Whaley. Photo credit: PGA of Amercia.

Finding the right balance between the two lives proved one of the toughest challenges of all for the pioneering American.

Whaley, who recently completed a two-year term as the first female president of the PGA of America, cited the turmoil she endured when at the peak of her golf-playing powers, while her daughters were still infants.

“I’ve had so many candid conversations about this and I think we have to be honest,” said Whaley, whose abilities faced their most stringent examination in 2003, the year she became the first female in 58 years to participate in a PGA Tour event.

At the time, Whaley had her first job as a head professional at a public golf course, while her husband was general manager at the facility where the Greater Hartford Open was being played, and for which she had qualified.

Whaley, whose daughters were then aged six and eight, recalled: “Both of us were working long hours as PGA professionals. And here I was going to try and compete against the best male golfers in the world in front of 40 million people.

“You think about how you’re going to manage that as far as being a good mum. I wanted to have great kids, for them to know they were my priority. But we realised very quickly there is no such thing as work-life balance.”

After spending three tortuous months weighing up the pros and cons of whether to accept her exemption to the Greater Hartford Open, it was the words of one of her daughters that helped Whaley make her decision.

Whaley said: “I was reading a story to her at night about being brave and courageous and taking opportunity when it came along. She looked right at me and said: well, why aren’t you playing? For me that was the deciding point. I walked downstairs and told my husband we’re in.

“I had six months to wait to tee it up. I worked incredibly hard and tirelessly to be as prepared as I possibly could. I knew I wasn’t going there to win a PGA Tour event but it turned very quickly into representing women’s golf and representing opportunity for women.

“It was the first time in years a woman had been on the cover of golf magazines and people were talking about women’s golf. I was incredibly proud to participate and play.

“As nerve-racking as it was, as challenging as it was, it’s something I hold dear because my daughters remember it. They went through it with me. They know they can do everything in their power to prepare and hold their head high no matter the outcome. Enjoy the experience, no matter the performance.”

Whaley acknowledged that it would not have been possible to get through that period without widespread support from those around her.

“I found myself surrounded by incredible friends who took my children to doctor’s appointments, to school, would pick them up if they were sick. I had a boss who was willing to give me time in the morning to go for an extreme workout every day. I had staff that were taking on my responsibilities so that I could go and practice and play.

“You don’t do it alone. You can’t. I had this incredible husband who knew my attention was not going to be full on him for the next nine months. It was a gift that he understood that, was in the same business that I was. I’m so grateful for that. It wasn’t a lack of wanting to be with him. It was a lack of time.

“I think you have to work out what are the things that are most important to you, whether it be fitness or cooking or your children or your partner. Or playing the game, which I think is incredibly important as a PGA professional or a golf professional that you continue to hone your skills and have a high level of play.

“How in the work week can you fit in everything you need to … and what needs to give? You’ll find the things that need to give. Sometimes it may be things you really don’t want to give up but you realise that’s not the first thing on your list for this particular time period.

“Understand that you’ll get back to it and that your children will survive it. I think my children are proud of the fact that I work and that I love what I do and that I’m happy with what I do. But they also know that I cherish them.

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. I was the mum that brought the brownies but did not make them and then put them in my own pan. You don’t have to be the amazing mum that gets everything perfect.

“You can’t be great at everything all the time. You have to prioritise. I think it’s really hard in today’s environment to work full time, to have a family, to have a dual working household, to manage a pandemic, to manage golf, when we’re exploding here in the US so our work weeks are doubly as long.

“You have to be in the minute. If you’re a coach and you’re teaching, the person in front of you is your key right then and there. If you’re with your family, you should focus 100 percent on them. If you’re in your work place or a meeting or trying to navigate something within your business, that should be your primary focus at that moment in time.”