I fell in love with a golfer … then the game

Tauranga recreational golfer and freelance writer Zoe Hunter hit on her future husband, who turned out to be a professional golfer, so she started hitting on the fairways instead, and now shares her story.

I fell in love with a golfer …

then the game

There I was on a casual date years ago with sneakers, active wear and no idea about how to swing a golf club. Feet too wide, off balance, bad posture and no clue where to aim. I had never hit a golf ball before.

Standing in a driving range about to launch the ball into no particular direction, my date -- a professional golfer -- watches on calmly.

“Just give it a go,” he said in full confidence.

Hoping to impress, I grip the golf club tight in a desperate effort not to let it go as I swing it high behind me, close my eyes, and hit. Doh, a swing and a miss.

I compose myself, let out an innocent giggle as if to show my date I did that on purpose, and give it another shot. This time, I made contact with the ball, sending it flying through the air and landing no more than two metres in front of me. My cheeks turn a rosy pink and I look over at my date.

“Well done,” he said with a smile.

He wanted me to hit the ball before giving me any tips. Instructions, he tells me, would have made me overthink.

The next few hours were spent hitting golf balls until the bucket emptied -- and I would occasionally pretend to need help with my golf swing, prompting him to stand behind me and wrap his arms around mine, just like a romantic movie scene.

That was my first time on the driving range. From then on, I knew the quickest way into my golf-loving boyfriend’s heart was to learn how to play golf.

Admittedly, it took a few years to see the point of chasing a golf ball around for hours, but I wanted to show an interest in his interests.

Then one day, while caddying for him in a golf tournament, I saw it … the way he walked around each of the 18 holes with pure focus. It was as if this was his clarity among the chaos.

On the golf course, he embraces the good shots and accepts the not so good. It is what it is, he says, you can’t control the uncontrollable.

As a player, he says he loves the game because every day it offers something different. As a coach, he loves to help people enjoy golf more and if they improve their game in the process, that’s a bonus.

During the next few years together, I played more golf. In the beginning, I joined the Ladies Super 6s with The Clubroom Tauranga. Six holes of golf with like-minded women, and the promise of a wine afterwards was enough to keep me turning up each week.

A short coaching clinic taught the fundamentals of golf before heading out onto the course and putting it all into practice. There was no judgement, no dress code, and no rules -- just turn up and have fun. Playing in a no-pressure environment grew my confidence in the game.

It meant I could start actually playing a nine-hole round of golf with my now hubby, instead of being the caddy and watching the clock.

To help me learn to enjoy the game, I didn’t keep the score and I teed the ball up wherever I liked. Instead of searching high and low for my golf ball when I lost it -- and there were many of those occasions at the beginning -- I just hit a new one.

I would pick up the ball mid-hole if I got frustrated, and started afresh on the next one, and I only counted the swings when I connected with the ball.

Before I invested in my own set of clubs, I shared with others to get a feel for what I liked.

I didn’t bother hitting different clubs. I just stuck to one club I liked for the whole round and used a putter on the green.

Most of all, I made sure to enjoy the walk and take in the scenery. Golf is good exercise, if nothing else.

I now have a handicap, albeit high, but it gives me a goal to work towards. Hubby says he has enjoyed seeing me start to enjoy golf and watching my confidence in the game grow.

I am understanding the intricacies of golf and appreciate what it has taught me. On the golf course, I can practice patience, be present, socialise and de-stress. Golf demands my concentration, which helps to improve my mental acuity, while the exercise gives me a break from the daily routine … and some fresh air.

I have also swapped the active wear for some cute golf outfits and I am now the proud owner of a skort.

But the best part about playing golf is being able to share in something my husband loves.

And since that first date at the driving range, I have learned to love the game too.

My now husband is a New Zealand PGA professional and makes his living coaching the sport, as well as selling golfing equipment and the full gamut of golfing apparel from his company’s premises at the Tauranga Golf Club.

Encouraging the next wave of women like me into the sport of golf is also the focus of Golf New Zealand’s She Loves Golf participation programme which has seen playing numbers among the female gender boom over the past four years. The Ladies Super 6s programme I took part in is part of the She Loves Golf initiative being run at Tauranga Golf Club.

Rather than trying to identify and cultivate the country’s next high performance Lydia Ko role model, the She Loves Golf programme is focused on encouraging women like me to simply get out onto the greens and fairways with friends to enjoy the social and health-improvement aspects of the sport.

Scores of golf clubs across New Zealand now run women-only She Loves Golf programmes – with such quirky names as Chip and Sip at the Pupuke Golf Club in Auckland and Omaha Golf Club just north of the city, Kiss My Putt and Wine Down Wednesday at Arrowtown Golf Club in Central Otago, or Wine & Nine at Geraldine Golf Club in South Canterbury.

Information on the array of golf clubs hosting She Loves Golf participation and coaching events can be found at Golf New Zealand’s website

https://www.golf.co.nz/she-loves-golf

And for those who are interested, my husband’s name is Hayden Beard.